types of boys
- facebook boys: you should come over. we could have some fun, if you know what i mean *wink*
- tumblr boys: you should come over. we can cuddle, and watch your favourite movie, and hold hands, and i'll cook for you and we can live happily ever after
- boys i know: make me a sandwich hoe
- In class: oh yeah i totally get this
- homework: lol what the fuck
- test: lol what the fuck
- report card: lol fuck
what race are you?
- black people: black
- white people: 2% Greek, 9.1% German, .0000032% Russian, 92% Irish, 49% French, 100% blue eyed devil
- Society: Every girl is beautiful.
- Fat girls: Really?
- Skinny girls: Really?
- Curvy girls: Really?
- Scene girls: Really?
- Preppy girls: Really?
- White girls: Really?
- Black girls: Really?
- Society: Wait let me be more specific
- Society: You need to have boobs the size of Canada, an ass that will put Nicki Minaj to shame, perfect porcelain skin with nary a single blemish, straight white teeth that will blind somebody that looks at them without sunglasses, hair that is thick and flows like a waterfall made of rainbows and unicorn tears, eyelashes that will touch your forehead and look natural doing it, soft hairless skin, and a smolder that will fry a chicken in a basket. You also have to be a size 00 because guys love it when they can see your ribcage.
- Society: Why is everybody getting depressed all of a sudden?
the difference between "gamer girls" and girls who actually play video games
- gamer girl: omgggg modern warfare 4 lyfeee<3 lolz wait how do you even do this? oh no i think i just died lol cuteee. omgg im sooo sexy cuz i play video games that boyzzz lykee lolll im like the kewlestt gurl evaarrr
- girls who play video games: GOD DAMN IT MARIO. IS IT THAT FUCKING HARD TO STAY ON RAINBOW ROAD FOR MAYBE TEN SECONDS. OH MY FUCKING GOD PEACH YOU FUCKING WHORE. YOU REALLY HAD TO USE THE THUNDER CLOUD AND FUCKING SHRINK ME. REALLY. THIRD. I'M IN THIRD PLACE OH MY GOD YES THANK JESUS LORD ABOVE IN THE HEAVENS. FUCK. NO. I FELL OFF. I SWEAR TO GOD MARIO I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUR ITALIAN PLUMBER MOTHER FUCKING ASS. i hate my life.
- therapist: now i'd like you to tell me about your most tragic experience ever
- me: well one time i had to restart my computer
Me: Breathe if you find me attractive.
Entire human race: *dies from lack of oxygen*